Our flight from Cochin to Mumbai was uneventful.
The airport is modern and efficient and the waiting room for domestic flights very comfortable with armchairs and plenty of wall sockets for charging laptops and mobiles
We flew with Indigo a new airline (formed around 10 years ago) and the plane was clean, the staff very helpful and friendly.
The fun started after we collected our luggage.
We could have arranged a limo pick-up provided by the 'posh' hotel we're staying at but they quoted 7000 rupees (£70). I'd seen a price guide for pre-booked taxis online and knew that this quote was a bit OTT. The online article stated that the pre-paid taxis only operated out of the international terminals though. Thankfully the article was obviously a bit out of date and we found a prepaid counter quite easily.
Had to laugh at the sign in the window though .....
They really shouldn't have scribbled out those first two letters!
The guy behind the counter issued us a receipt for the fare which was only 700 rupees (£7) and then accompanied us through a side door where he handed us over to a Rep for a newly formed 'all ladies' taxi service 'women empowering women'. The Rep led us to a group of ladies in pretty pink/white striped shirts sitting on the steps outside and one broke away to offer us a guided tour of the gourmet restaurants in Mumbai. We politely declined her offer whereby she lost interest in us and handed us over to a minion, a petite, demure looking lady, who led us to a waiting area full of people with luggage awaiting their drivers. She disappeared for about 10 minutes and we were left alone in the middle of a chaotic noisy madhouse - car horns blasting non-stop (they like that in India) and vying for pole position to get out of the two narrow exit gateways.
When our driver eventually showed up she was driving an absolute old heap of a vehicle - a sort of converted small van with dents and scratches all over - but we loaded the cases and set off with a lot of noise - the vehicle didn't like pulling away in low gears so she had to put her foot to the floor and rev it noisily (the way lots of grannies tend to drive in England)!
Once in the driving seat our petite, demure, little Indian lady became a she-devil and took no prisoners - she cut the other drivers up, tailgated, blasted on the horn non-stop but all the while managing to make/receive half a dozen calls on her mobile.
My seatbelt wouldn't release from its holder - probably a couple of decades since it last saw service ... but that was OK as there was nowhere to 'park' it anyway as the buckle holder had long since disappeared. David's was the same so we adopted the brace position and gritted our teeth for the 90 minute drive through rush hour Mumbai in the dark. To think we'd believed our Tuk Tuk rides were adventurous!
It turned out our driver didn't actually know where our hotel was and had to stop and ask directions (one advantage of having a female driver I guess ... whoever heard of a man asking the way)? We'd passed the entrance so spend an interesting 5 minutes whilst she attempted a U turn at a 3 way junction, narrowly avoiding a massacre with motorcycles and cars doing Dodgem moves around us.
Then with a crashing of gears and another of those welly to the ground roars we arrived at the very posh entrance to our hotel where the uniformed doorman looked unsure whether to greet us formally or send us and our jalopy on our way.
Anyway .... the hotel is VERY grand. The lady at Reception who was impeccably turned out, stunningly beautiful with not a hair out of place personally led us to our room where she suggested that after madam had 'refreshed herself' perhaps we'd enjoy a cocktail in the bar listening to live jazz music prior to dinner at one of their michelin starred restaurants. I then realised I hadn't seen myself in the mirror all day (the houseboat's bathroom was dimly lit and had no sockets for plugging a hairdryer in so my hair was a frizzy mess and I had no make-up on) ... So 'madam' duly poshed up, slapped some polyfilla on and we went downstairs so I could sail past reception in my frock to show her that 'madam' can scrub up OK.... but she'd gone off duty so the moment was missed!
We have a Butler, Stephen - he delivered our welcome drink to our room and assured us we could call on him for anything at any time during our stay. It did occur to me when I was under the shower trying desperately to undo the tightly packaged bar of luxury soap with wet hands that perhaps I should use the phone in the bathroom to call Stephen to open it for me .... David reckons I would have been safe as Stephen definitely 'minces' ....
We don't dare mention that our first walking tour today is to visit the infamous slums .... then tonight we're doing a night tour (another walking one). They'd probably insist on us being dusted down with DDT before re-entering their hotel.
Our room is lovely. We're on the 11th floor with floor to ceiling windows overlooking the sea and the sweep of the road/bridge around the Bay. Sadly its very foggy this morning at 7am but I imagine that will burn off once the sun is stronger.
The airport is modern and efficient and the waiting room for domestic flights very comfortable with armchairs and plenty of wall sockets for charging laptops and mobiles
We flew with Indigo a new airline (formed around 10 years ago) and the plane was clean, the staff very helpful and friendly.
The fun started after we collected our luggage.
We could have arranged a limo pick-up provided by the 'posh' hotel we're staying at but they quoted 7000 rupees (£70). I'd seen a price guide for pre-booked taxis online and knew that this quote was a bit OTT. The online article stated that the pre-paid taxis only operated out of the international terminals though. Thankfully the article was obviously a bit out of date and we found a prepaid counter quite easily.
Had to laugh at the sign in the window though .....
They really shouldn't have scribbled out those first two letters!
The guy behind the counter issued us a receipt for the fare which was only 700 rupees (£7) and then accompanied us through a side door where he handed us over to a Rep for a newly formed 'all ladies' taxi service 'women empowering women'. The Rep led us to a group of ladies in pretty pink/white striped shirts sitting on the steps outside and one broke away to offer us a guided tour of the gourmet restaurants in Mumbai. We politely declined her offer whereby she lost interest in us and handed us over to a minion, a petite, demure looking lady, who led us to a waiting area full of people with luggage awaiting their drivers. She disappeared for about 10 minutes and we were left alone in the middle of a chaotic noisy madhouse - car horns blasting non-stop (they like that in India) and vying for pole position to get out of the two narrow exit gateways.
When our driver eventually showed up she was driving an absolute old heap of a vehicle - a sort of converted small van with dents and scratches all over - but we loaded the cases and set off with a lot of noise - the vehicle didn't like pulling away in low gears so she had to put her foot to the floor and rev it noisily (the way lots of grannies tend to drive in England)!
Once in the driving seat our petite, demure, little Indian lady became a she-devil and took no prisoners - she cut the other drivers up, tailgated, blasted on the horn non-stop but all the while managing to make/receive half a dozen calls on her mobile.
My seatbelt wouldn't release from its holder - probably a couple of decades since it last saw service ... but that was OK as there was nowhere to 'park' it anyway as the buckle holder had long since disappeared. David's was the same so we adopted the brace position and gritted our teeth for the 90 minute drive through rush hour Mumbai in the dark. To think we'd believed our Tuk Tuk rides were adventurous!
It turned out our driver didn't actually know where our hotel was and had to stop and ask directions (one advantage of having a female driver I guess ... whoever heard of a man asking the way)? We'd passed the entrance so spend an interesting 5 minutes whilst she attempted a U turn at a 3 way junction, narrowly avoiding a massacre with motorcycles and cars doing Dodgem moves around us.
Then with a crashing of gears and another of those welly to the ground roars we arrived at the very posh entrance to our hotel where the uniformed doorman looked unsure whether to greet us formally or send us and our jalopy on our way.
Anyway .... the hotel is VERY grand. The lady at Reception who was impeccably turned out, stunningly beautiful with not a hair out of place personally led us to our room where she suggested that after madam had 'refreshed herself' perhaps we'd enjoy a cocktail in the bar listening to live jazz music prior to dinner at one of their michelin starred restaurants. I then realised I hadn't seen myself in the mirror all day (the houseboat's bathroom was dimly lit and had no sockets for plugging a hairdryer in so my hair was a frizzy mess and I had no make-up on) ... So 'madam' duly poshed up, slapped some polyfilla on and we went downstairs so I could sail past reception in my frock to show her that 'madam' can scrub up OK.... but she'd gone off duty so the moment was missed!
We have a Butler, Stephen - he delivered our welcome drink to our room and assured us we could call on him for anything at any time during our stay. It did occur to me when I was under the shower trying desperately to undo the tightly packaged bar of luxury soap with wet hands that perhaps I should use the phone in the bathroom to call Stephen to open it for me .... David reckons I would have been safe as Stephen definitely 'minces' ....
We don't dare mention that our first walking tour today is to visit the infamous slums .... then tonight we're doing a night tour (another walking one). They'd probably insist on us being dusted down with DDT before re-entering their hotel.
Our room is lovely. We're on the 11th floor with floor to ceiling windows overlooking the sea and the sweep of the road/bridge around the Bay. Sadly its very foggy this morning at 7am but I imagine that will burn off once the sun is stronger.
The drive sounds "hairy" to say the least! Got any photos of the hotel?
ReplyDeleteNot from the outside Di ... will need to get some tomorrow maybe. Its the Oberoi at Mumbai
ReplyDeleteJust been checking it out - OMG it looks amazing. I can just imagine their faces when you two turned up in rent a wreck lol ,,,
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